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Monkey-Plex
We're going to the movies ... at the Monkey-Plex! Carrying over at least one theme from the last page, here's a look at current and past movie releases, rated on a scale of one to five monkeys. Five monkeys, of course, is best!
FILM: Sweet Home Alabama
2 monkeys
Scientists have finally perfected and isolated the “cuteness” gene in Reese Witherspoon, and their work is on display to dazzling effect here. Um, that is, you may be dazzled in to spending your hard earned money to see what is, at best, a glorified Lifetime made-for-TV weepie. Don’t.

Look, I like Reese, I really do, but man, she played a shrill harpy in this film. It’s hard to root for her when she’s such an unpleasant character, thus defeating the purpose of all that cuteness engineering. My advice: Catch this one on TV sometime, where it belongs, and hope Reese strikes platinum again with Legally Blond 2.

FILM: Psycho
5 monkeys!
Speaking of AFI’s 100 Years, 100 Movies campaign, many of you would probably be shocked to know that I had never seen number 18 on that list, Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece of horror and suspense, Psycho. That oversight was recently rectified at a great night at the Arclight Cinemas, sponsored by the Scriptwriter’s Network. The Network is sponsoring a series called “Meet the Writer,” which is just what it sounds like. They screen a great movie, then afterward, ex-CNN entertainment guy Dennis Michael interviews the writer. For Psycho, we were treated to Q&A with Joseph Stefano, who did such a masterful job adapting Robert Bloch’s story for the screen. Anyhow, again, if you’re in the top twenty of the AFI list, who am I to deny the coveted five monkey ranking? Hop on over to the Scriptwriter’s Network Website, and see what other events they have coming up in this series. (I’m especially looking forward to Back to the Future with writer Bob Gale.)
FILM: Lawrence of Arabia
5 monkeys!
Well, it’s touring again, in a restored 70mm print as part of the film's 40th anniversary celebration. That means you’ve got some work to do. If you’ve never seen this film, please do yourself a favor, and get out to see it on the biggest screen you can find. Hey, don’t take my word for it. The AFI ranked it number five on their list of the top 100 films. That means if you’ve already seen Citizen Kane, Casablanca, The Godfather, and Gone With The Wind, you’re just one film shy of completing a high-quality five-fecta. (It’s like a tri-fecta, but with five things, see …)

Speaking of five, this movie is why there’s a five-monkey rating. So skedaddle! Go see it now!

FILM: Barbershop
3 monkeys
What’s all the fuss about, Jesse? Here’s a mostly funny movie with a lot of heart, a good message, not a lot of violence, but because it dares to turn its biting humor on a portion of the "community", it’s dangerous and should be scorned? I’m not buying your argument. Instead of boycotting, you should be supporting this film, because it’s funny, it’s well made, and it tackles some tough issues (frankly, a lot more than I expected, based on the advertising campaign). That’s actually a good way to prepare yourself for this film; don’t think of it as a non-stop laugh fest, think of it as a very funny personal story about family and community.
FILM: The Sweatbox
4 monkeys
Well, here’s one to look for on home video, because it probably won’t be playing at a theatre near you. Hardcore Disney animation fans will remember that before The Emperor’s New Groove was released, it went through what was, at that time, the most tortuous development process of any of the modern Disney animated classics. In its initial incarnation, the film was going to be called Kingdom of the Sun, a much different and highly mythological take on ancient Andean culture and its creation myth. (Of course, The Emperor's New Groove turned out to be a non-stop laugh fest, featuring David Spade as a pouty, power-mad boy emperor who was accidentally turned in to a llama. So, as you can see, they changed it just a bit. That's Hollywood for you.)

One of the big draws of Kingdom was going to be original songs and music from Sting. And as part of Sting’s deal, his wife, Trudie Styler, was given access to create a “making of” documentary. Only one problem: Halfway through the process, Disney basically stopped making Kingdom and turned it in to New Groove, junking most of Sting’s work in the process.

Thankfully, Trudie's access to the filmmakers continued. So this film, then, became a fascinating look at the creation myth of The Emperor's New Groove. Anyone who has ever wondered about the making of an animated film, especially a Disney animated film (think sausage, only slightly messier), would do well to seek out The Sweatbox. Highly recommended.

FILM: Blue Crush
3 monkeys
My impression of this delightfully fluffy surf film may have been somewhat influenced by the fact that I saw in while in Maui. Yes, I know this is not a “good” film, but it is a “fun” film, and that’s still got to count for something, doesn’t it? Sure, the lead female surfer falls for the hunky NFL star, but hey, she still makes it to the big surfing contest she’s been training her whole life for … as if we expected anything different from this film. I expected to have a good time, and I did. The scenery was plenty fun to watch (the surfing stuff, not the gals in bikinis, ya morons! Although the gals were pretty fun to watch, too …) and overall, I think is probably just about the best movie you could make from this material.

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