Monkey-Plex Review: FILM: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

FILM: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones 3 monkeys

Hmm. Certainly better than the mostly horrible Episode I, although that’s not much of a compliment now, is it? Instead, let’s say this is easily the 4th best Star Wars film George Lucas has ever made. (There are a lot better Star Wars films made by fans, and available for viewing at sites like ifilm.com and atomfilms.com.)
My biggest problems with the new films are these:
First, where’s Han Solo? And by that, I mean, where’s the pirate, the swashbuckler, the person with the sense of FUN and ADVENTURE that helped make the original Star Wars films such classics? In Episode I and Episode II, nobody in the film is having fun, and that includes me. (Obi-Wan shows flashes of Solo-esque spirit, but those are quickly doused by horrible scripting.)
Second, I’m sure political stories are near and dear to George Lucas’s heart. But I don’t know that complex political stories necessarily make the best Star Wars stories. Remember when Star Wars was about a farm boy discovering he really was a powerful knight, who then had to save a princess and blow up the bad guys? I do ... and I defy you to describe the current films in this manner.
Third, I just don’t believe that Padmé would get anywhere near Anakin as he’s been portrayed in the films. What (ostensibly) smart, capable Senator would want anything to do with a whiny, bratty eight-year-old who’s now a whiny, pouty, throwing-things-when-angry eighteen-year-old? I mean, there’s got to be a better foundation for me to believe in this love story. And she ends up marrying him? Come on …
Yoda kicks ass, though, and that’s got to count for something. Hence a generous three monkey rating. My final suggestion for George Lucas: You’ve just hired Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption) to write Indiana Jones IV, so ask about getting a 2-for-1 deal to have him help you write the script for Episode III.

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Replies: 2 comments

I'm a little late on making a comment about this movie..but here it goes. Anakin sucked. Not talented enough. I didn't like any of his "love scenes". So cheesy that if a guy came towards me with that load of horse crap, I'd go get another beer and leave him standing there. I am just not into this whole computer generated stuff, either. I mean, there were many times where it just looked too fake. I guess I like the last 3 the best. I didn't like the last one he put out (the first one). But I did like the fact that now everything is coming together a little more and I understand it better.

Posted by Amy @ 11/18/2002 10:01 PM PST

I picked up the DVD cheap and used, with the hopes that the commentary would change my mind about this film. Nope. I still don't like it. The first three (the untouched versions) rule.

Posted by Elise @ 12/29/2002 09:28 PM PST

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