Dictum Ridiculum - September 2003

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Dictum Ridiculum: September 2003

Archived rants and raves from the main page of the Colin Campbell Network.

Thursday, September 25, 2003
Your Mikko Update
Well, hockey season is almost here. Past visitors to this site certainly have endured more than a fair share of my blathering about hockey, especially my fascination with all things Finnish and hockey-ish.
With training camp for the L.A. Kings well underway, and my favorite player, Mikko Eloranta, nowhere in sight, you may be wondering: Will my passion for the Coolest Game on Earth fade?
No way.
And on this page, inconveniently written in Finnish, you can keep up with Mikko all season long! From what I can tell, he's playing for TPS, a club in the Finnish hockey league. So far, he's got 1 "Tehdyt maalit", 1 "Syöttöpisteet", and 6 "Jäähyminuutit". (I'm 90% sure that means "one goal, one assist, and six penalty minutes. Finnish translators and Juha Lind fans are welcome to post the accurate translations below.)
The most sad thing for me is, Alta Vista's usually quite useful BabelFish translator does not include a "Finnish/English" option. Grr.
That being said, I am looking forward to another season of hits, goals, fights, and Mandie Pinto with the Kings at Staples Center, usually with the loyal and lovable Mrs. Chelios by my side.
Side note for those who've asked: Mrs. Chelios is not my wife, nor is she the wife of her namesake, Detroit's Cro-Magnon defenseman Chris Chelios. But could there be some wifely-ness in her future?? Oh my! Time will tell.
Transmitted 05:35 PM PST | Link |

Thursday, September 18, 2003
Good Writing About TV? It's at TeeVee...
They're handing out the annual TeeVee awards over at TeeVee.org, and I certainly got a kick out of this year's Most Unjust Cancellation, which went, appropriately enough, to my pet show, Firefly.
So once again, Fox has cancelled one of the best new shows on TV before it could even reach a second season. In the past three years, Fox has cancelled more young quality shows than UPN and The WB have aired in their combined existences. That Firefly, The Tick, Undeclared, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, and numerous other series have met their doom at Fox proves two points: First, Fox is really good at developing new series. Second, it's unable to make those shows succeed.
Or, to put it more succinctly: Joe Millionaire 2, coming this fall to Fox. Enjoy, suckers!
As the former Mr. TV (for Zap2it/UltimateTV.com), I heartily endorse these awards. Good writing about TV abounds.
It's probably also proper that I give a shout out to one of my other favorite "about TV" sites, www.televisionwithoutpity.com. It's sometimes a little too-insidery, but decoding their unique brand of snarky criticism is half the fun.
Transmitted 01:01 AM PST | Link |

Wednesday, September 17, 2003
What Is It About Arkansas and Presidential Candidates?
Well, it's official. George W. Bush's worst nightmare, Wesley Clark, is running for president.
Picture this scene from Debate '04:
PANELIST: "General Clark, you were first in your class at West Point, served as the Supreme Allied Commander of NATO, won the Presidential Medal of Freedom, along with the Silver Star, Bronze Star and Purple Heart. President Bush, you apparently spent some time with the Texas Air National Guard -- at least, when you weren't missing from that post, you were there -- and you wore that really cool flight suit which made your package appear quite impressive when you landed on that aircraft carrier. Tell me ... which one of you has the better credentials to effectively use America's military force to combat the challenges we currently and are likely to face in the upcoming years?"
Well, I'd like to see it...
For now, though, enjoy Michael Moore's latest compilation of important George W. Bush information.
1. GEORGE AND LAURA ON 9/11 -- A BARREL OF LAUGHS!
The following is an interview with the First Couple from the current issue of one of my favorite magazines, Ladies Home Journal (Oct. '03). They are asked about what September 11, 2001, was like for them personally, and, although over 3,000 people had just perished, George W. was able to find some humor by the end of that day:
Peggy Noonan (the interviewer): You were separated on September 11th. What was it like when you saw each other again?
Laura Bush: Well, we just hugged. I think there was a certain amount of security in being with each other than being apart.
George W. Bush: But the day ended on a relatively humorous note. The agents said, "you'll be sleeping downstairs. Washington's still a dangerous place." And I said no, I can't sleep down there, the bed didn't look comfortable. I was really tired, Laura was tired, we like our own bed. We like our own routine. You know, kind of a nester. I knew I had to deal with the issue the next day and provide strength and comfort to the country, and so I needed rest in order to be mentally prepared. So I told the agent we're going upstairs, and he reluctantly said okay. Laura wears contacts, and she was sound asleep. Barney was there. And the agent comes running up and says, "We're under attack. We need you downstairs," and so there we go. I'm in my running shorts and my T-shirt, and I'm barefooted. Got the dog in one hand, Laura had a cat, I'm holding Laura --
Laura Bush: I don't have my contacts in , and I'm in my fuzzy house slippers --
George W. Bush: And this guy's out of breath, and we're heading straight down to the basement because there's an incoming unidentified airplane, which is coming toward the White House. Then the guy says it's a friendly airplane. And we hustle all the way back up stairs and go to bed.
Mrs. Bush: [LAUGHS] And we just lay there thinking about the way we must have looked.
Peggy Noonan (interviewer): So the day starts in tragedy and ends in Marx Brothers.
George W. Bush: THAT'S RIGHT-- WE GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT!
(end)
Although America had just suffered the worst attack ever on our own soil, somehow this man was able to end his day on a funny note. I wonder how many of the 3,000 families who lost someone earlier that day had a funny ending before they went to sleep? Please read the above exchange aloud to anyone who will listen. It speaks volumes.
2. WE HAVE JUST WRECKED OUR KIDS' FUTURE.
The first paragraph in yesterday's New York Times story on how Bush has taken a record surplus and demolished it into a record deficit was one of the best lead paragraphs I have ever read in a newspaper article.
Here's how it went:
"When President Bush informed the nation last Sunday night that remaining in Iraq next year will cost another $87 billion, many of those who will actually pay that bill were unable to watch. They had already been put to bed by their parents."
Bingo. Gee, I hope the kids thank us some day!
Here's the next paragraph (my emphasis added):
"Administration officials acknowledged the next day that every dollar of that cost will be BORROWED, a loan that economists say will be repaid by the NEXT generation of taxpayers AND THE GENERATION AFTER THAT. The $166 BILLION cost of the work SO FAR in Iraq and Afghanistan, which has stunned many in Washington, will be added to what was already the largest budget deficit the nation has ever known."
Every conservative friend of yours should weep when they read that, and then you should hug them and tell them that it'll be okay, once we all do what we need to do.
3. WHAT WOULD $87 BILLION BUY?
If you can't get through this list without wanting to throw up, I'll understand. But pass it around anyway. This is the nail in the Iraq War's coffin for any sane, thinking individual, regardless of their political stripe (thanks to TomPaine.com and the Center for American Progress)...
To get some perspective, here are some real-life comparisons about what $87 billion means:
$87 Billion Is More Than The Combined Total Of All State Budget Deficits In The United States.
The Bush administration proposed absolutely zero funds to help states deal with these deficits, despite the fact that their tax cuts drove down state revenues. [Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities]
$87 Billion Is Enough To Pay The 3.3 Million People Who Have Lost Jobs Under George W. Bush $26,363 Each!
The unemployment benefits extension passed by Congress at the beginning of this year provides zero benefits to "workers who exhausted their regular, state unemployment benefits and cannot find work." All told, two-thirds of unemployed workers have exhausted their benefits. [Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities]
$87 Billion Is More Than DOUBLE The Total Amount The Government Spends On Homeland Security.
The U.S. spends about $36 billion on homeland security. Yet, Sen. Warren Rudman (R-N.H.) wrote "America will fall approximately $98.4 billion short of meeting critical emergency responder needs" for homeland security without a funding increase. [Source: Council on Foreign Relations]
$87 Billion Is 87 Times The Amount The Federal Government Spends On After School Programs.
George W. Bush proposed a budget that reduces the $1 billion for after-school programs to $600 million -- cutting off about 475,000 children from the program. [Source: The Republican-dominated House Appropriations Committee]
$87 Billion Is More Than 10 Times What The Government Spends On All Environmental Protection.
The Bush administration requested just $7.6 billion for the entire Environmental Protection Agency. This included a 32 percent cut to water quality grants, a 6 percent reduction in enforcement staff, and a 50 percent cut to land acquisition and conservation. [Source: Natural Resources Defense Council]
Certainly something to think about. So, get thinking!
Transmitted 11:16 AM PST | Link |

Tuesday, September 9, 2003
Bird Update
Over in the Monkey-Plex (which I swear will be updated, any day now....) I called Winged Migration "the greatest non-IMAX IMAX film ever."
Well, it's still not an IMAX film, but it is now showing in some IMAX theatres. The print has reportedly been "enhanced" to look good on the IMAX screen. So check the listings for your local IMAX theatre and see if it's playing!
I can't stress enough how simply spectacular this film is, even in "regular" format. As soon as I see in IMAX, I'll update the Monkey-Plex review, and let you know what I think.
Transmitted 03:48 PM PST | Link |

Monday, September 8, 2003
It May Actually Be A Small World After All
Go ahead and check out the pretty remarkable Degree Confluence Project, and you'll probably come away thinking a little bit differently about our planet than you do now. And even if it's only a small degree (pardon the pun) of change, that's more than most websites offer.
This is another link I picked up on from what I consider to be one of the world's best weblogs, Mark Evanier's News From Me. Mark is a very prolific writer (and, in a strange coincidence, I saw one of his old Love Boat episodes on TV Land the other night), and where he finds the time to update the world's best weblog, I have no idea.
You'll also be happy to know that The Colin Campbell Network currently ranks as the world's 8,298th best weblog. But hey, that just motivates us to try harder.
Transmitted 12:44 AM PST | Link |

Thursday, September 4, 2003
Today's Best News
Today's best news comes to us from the Hollywood Reporter. Firefly lives!
Here's the scoop.

'Firefly' Lands in Film Afterlife
By Zorianna Kit and Chris Gardner
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - The short-lived TV series "Firefly" is moving to the big screen.
After taking his "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" feature film and turning it into a successful TV series, "Firefly" creator Joss Whedon is about to do the reverse with his Fox cult hit, which will be released theatrically by Universal Pictures.
In addition to adapting it for the big screen, Whedon will also make his feature directorial debut with the project. Plans are to see "Firefly" go into production in first-quarter 2004.
Universal recently acquired the rights to "Firefly" from 20th Century Fox Television, where Whedon's Mutant Enemy Inc. production company has a television deal.
The action-adventure series was set 500 years in the future and centered on a crew aboard a spaceship. The feature version will incorporate the mythology from the show but will take on a more epic feel. Whedon hopes to enlist the entire cast to come back for the feature, depending on their previous commitments, with new characters added as well.
"Ever since the show went off the air, our fan base has grown even more," said Mutant Enemy president Christopher Buchanan. "We've had tremendous outpouring from the U.S. and Canada as well as the U.K., which just finished a run of 'Firefly' over there. Every comic book and sci-fi convention has had a 'Firefly' presence since the show first aired."
For the series, which ran this past season, Whedon produced 15 hours of television, including a two-hour episode. Three shows never aired on Fox but will likely be featured on the series' DVD release, due out in December. Buchanan said fans created such a demand that DVD presales on Amazon.com sold out within 24 hours.
Whedon's feature film screenplay credits include "Titan A.E.," "Alien: Resurrection" and "Toy Story."
Sudden and scary thought -- will the whole NBC/Vivendi/Universal merger mess (and mergers like that are almost always messy) affect this project? Oh, great, the film has just been announced and already there's something to worry about.
Yay for Joss, though, and I'm guessing since this will be his feature film directing debut, it will probably go forward.
I know regular readers of this site are probably sick of me going on and on about how great and how much fun Firefly was when it was on the air. To you, I can only say ... deal with it! This was a damn, damn good show that deserved much better than the lackluster support and spotty scheduling that played a big part in its demise on the Fox network. To see it come back as a feature film is just fantastic.
You know, the pace of everything is faster these days. Take the original Star Trek. They made 79 episodes, waited ten years, then made a feature film. Firefly? A much shorter cycle: 15 episodes (only 12 aired) and 15 months after its debut, a movie is in the works.
Still, I would say a future TV series called Firefly: The Next Generation with a bald Englishman replacing Nathan Fillion's Captain Malcolm "Tightpants" Reynolds seems unlikely. This being Hollywood, though, you never know...
Transmitted 11:02 AM PST | Link |

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