Dictum Ridiculum - August 2004

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Dictum Ridiculum: August 2004

Archived rants and raves from the main page of the Colin Campbell Network.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Your Gary Numan Update
Because you asked for it, it's time for your Gary Numan update! Remember Gary? "Here in my car ... I feel safest of all, I can lock all my doors, it's the ony way to live... in cars!" Sure you do! Well, according to Playlouder.com, it turns out Gary Numan is annoyed, and I think we want to know why.
Warning: British adult language.

NUMAN ANNOYED
Record deal goes down the shitter...
24 Aug 2004

Gary Numan's record deal with label Artful has collapsed.
The plane-flying, rug-wearing, Tory-voting, fan shagger has been dropped and his new album provisionally titled 'Jagged Halo' is unlikely to see the light of day until some time in 2005 when the 'Are Friends Electric' star returns to running his own label Mortal records.
Ah, someday I hope to be described as a plane-flying, rug-wearing, Tory-voting fan shagger. A boy can dream!
What? What's that, you say? You wanted information on gold medal-winning U.S. Olympic softball star Stacy Nuveman? Oh ...
Never mind.
Transmitted 03:33 AM PST | Link |

Monday, August 23, 2004
How Tough Is The Battle?
The headline on AOL News right now: Bush Rejects "Swift Boat" Spot
Which is, of course, ridiculous. Bush doesn't have the guts to do that.
But the true scope of the problem we face with our lazy and moronic media was made much clearer to me this afternoon. That's when a very dear friend said to me, "Hey, did you see Bush finally denounced those horrible swift boat ads?"
Ugh.
(Please note, this friend is dear and wonderful, and I in no way view this understandable misconception as a poor reflection on him/her.)
No, you have to go to outside sources such as Josh Marshall's wonderful TalkingPointsMemo.com to get the true story, featuring actual, full quotes from GWB!
As it turns out, he didn't so much denounce the swift boat ads as repeat the standard White House line on them -- that is, he admires Senator Kerry's service in Vietnam, and wants ALL "527" advertising stopped. (A 527 group, named after a section of the United States tax code, is a tax-exempt organization that is created primarily to influence the nomination, election, appointment or defeat of candidates for public office -- thanks Wikipedia!)
Which, in a delightful irony, is in marked contrast to Bush's remarks when he signed the current campaign finance law. Back then, a press release credited to Bush said:
However, the bill does have flaws. Certain provisions present serious constitutional concerns. In particular, H.R. 2356 goes farther than I originally proposed by preventing all individuals, not just unions and corporations, from making donations to political parties in connection with Federal elections. I believe individual freedom to participate in elections should be expanded, not diminished; and when individual freedoms are restricted, questions arise under the First Amendment. I also have reservations about the constitutionality of the broad ban on issue advertising, which restrains the speech of a wide variety of groups on issues of public import in the months closest to an election.
Which, of course, we know is total B.S., because the idea of Bush understanding the constitutional impact of ANYTHING is stretching it.
Ah, 70 days to go. C'mon, guys, we have GOT to work harder to make sure Bush doesn't get another term. I'm sorry -- it's not so much the stupidity (although it is a little bit), as the hypocrisy.
Transmitted 02:47 PM PST | Link |

A Simple Question
Go ahead, ask anyone. Say simply, "hey, what's the opposite of a promise kept?" I'm guessing 99 times out of a hundred, you'll get an answer something like, "uh, a broken promise?" or some variation. And I would say that is the correct answer.
Unless, of course, you happen to be working for NBC News, which apparently, like much of the mainstream media, has a different standard for dealing with George W. Bush than it did for, oh, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and these days, John Kerry.
One of the O'Donnells, Norah, I guess, was down on the ranch in Texas tonight, reporting on the Bush team, and how they're working hard to come up with new policies for a (yeah, right) second term.
The piece included two full page graphics, each with a title, and a series of three bullet points. Pretty rudimentary stuff.
The first page was titled: "Promises Kept"
The second page was titled, and this, I had to rewind the TiVo several times to believe my eyes: "Promises Unfulfilled"
"Promises Unfulfilled?" You've GOT to be kidding me. Well, maybe those promises will up and fulfill themselves sometime in the next 71 days.
Or maybe we need a new, "No Promise Left Behind" Act to deal with the shame and scandal of unfulfilled promises.
Or, maybe, and here's a thought, we need a new president.
Oh, yeah, remember - the liberals control the media. "Liberal," in this context, apparently being a synonym for "Huge Multi-national Corporations Like GE and News Corp."
Transmitted 12:01 AM PST | Link |

Saturday, August 21, 2004
Bush's Shameful Legacy
On a recurring basis, the Los Angeles Times publishes stories which clearly demonstrate President Bush’s priorities. Take this gem from August 9th, "White House Intercedes for Gas Project in National Forest." It’s the same story we’ve seen from this administration time and time again - a large corporation isn’t getting its way, usually due to the protection of some pesky National Forest, or nearly-extinct animal - but with a couple of phone calls, voila! Bush to the rescue ... of a big corporation! The beneficiary in this case -- a giant Houston-based energy company. The loser has to be the Carson National Forest ("Visit our 500 New Natural Gas Wells!" Yikes!) and the country’s largest Boy Scout camp, located inconveniently nearby. Well, those Scouts didn't need all that forest, anyway.
(Now, were I Karl Rove, and it was John Kerry who had made a similar intervention, I would be on the air with "John Kerry wants to destroy America’s largest Boy Scout camp" commercials within a week. Of course, no sane person engages in that kind of politics.)
No one can ever accuse George W. Bush of not leaving a legacy in the White House. (And yes, he will be leaving the White House). The list is truly impressive: A huge national debt. Environmental damage that will take decades to unravel. Oh, and let’s not forget the destruction of American prestige and moral authority around the world with a simplistic "We’ll attack anyone we want, any time we want, and you’re either with us or against us" foreign policy that is better suited to the children’s board game called, appropriately enough, Risk. As it turns out, re-electing George W. Bush is a risk we can’t take.
Admittedly, if I was a big energy company, I would certainly vote for George W. Bush. But I'm not. John Kerry has my vote this November.
Transmitted 07:59 PM PST | Link |

Friday, August 20, 2004
Media Matters
I certainly enjoyed this commentary about Peterson trial overkill coverage, from Stanford University's Grade the News program.
It's written in the form of a letter from John Q. Public to the San Jose Mercury News, and goes a little something like this... hit it!

Thank you sooo much for all the intimate details about Scott and Amber's tryst. What a night! Champagne? Strawberries? "Going all the way" on the first date. And the sexy details -- Amber's red strapless gown and the skintight leopard print pants and red boots!
Your reporter slipped us right past the bedroom door when she wrote: "He seduced her by candlelight with the tip of a red rose caressing her face, and kisses cascading down her neck."
Ooooh-la-la!
Such a welcome distraction from the New York Times with its gloomy stories about how American troops are entering a pivotal stage in their battle to suppress opposition forces across southern Iraq. That war will be going on for months, maybe years! Amber will only be on the stand for a week or two.
Good stuff, right on target. Check out the whole thing.
Transmitted 11:02 AM PST | Link |

Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Why Am I Pushing So Hard for Kerry?
Sure, I've been bugging a lot of my friends -- and some complete strangers -- in an effort to help John Kerry get elected, lawfully, President of the United States. And just about every day, I find a new reason to redouble my personal efforts in this matter. Take Bob Herbert's frightening tale of what's happening in Florida now:

State police officers have been going into the homes of elderly black voters in Orlando and interrogating them as part of an odd "investigation" that has frightened many voters, intimidated elderly volunteers and thrown a chill over efforts to get out the black vote in November.
It's 2004, this is the United States of America ... and this kind of (if you'll excuse the word) bullshit is still going on. Read the whole article. See how it makes you feel. And then I hope you'll seriously consider supporting John Kerry.
Oh, and someone better call Jimmy Carter, and tell him to reconsider his decision not to monitor U.S. elections in 2004. Have him start assembling his teams now. Tell 'em to meet in Tallahassee, and follow the smell coming from the Governor's -- that is, "President" Bush's brother's -- office.
Transmitted 12:55 AM PST | Link |

Friday, August 13, 2004
Good News That Makes Me Feel Sorta' Bad
Sure, the Cartoon Network has made me happy by announcing plans to produce and air an animated series featuring Krypto the Superdog.
As readers of this site know, I dig Krypto.
But I was a little distressed to see these comments from WB Animation President Sander Schwartz.
While speaking about the new show, Schwartz provided this keen bit of insight in to the corporate mind.

"We believe that preschoolers are underserved in the marketplace and we want to fill that void with high quality, fun-filled entertainment across all media and all platforms," said Schwartz.
That's right. Your pre-schooler is underserved in the marketplace! Gosh, then, thanks Cartoon Network, for meeting that need! It's almost charity work, when you think about it, fulfilling the unmet needs of our children... (sarcasm mode off).
I mean, we all know that corporate America's attitude towards are children is motivated not by nobility, but by profitability. It's just poor form to say it out loud.
I guess Schwartz would be fired pretty dang fast if he said what he's probably really thinking, which I'm guessing would go along the lines of: "Look, we've got to get these little kids hooked on our shows! If they start watching Cartoon Network as three- and four-year-olds, they'll get set into a viewing pattern that coincides nicely with a wide variety of revenue enhancing opportunities for my company! If they start with Krypto, and Krypto products, like backpacks, and pencils, and toys, they'll graduate to Powerpuff Girls, and Toonami!, and boy, do we have a lot of merchandise with THAT stuff on it. Also, Nickelodeon is run by Satan! And if you watch it for too long, you'll turn out gay. Don't watch them! Watch us!! WB/Cartoon Network Forever! Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!"
You know, or something like that.
The upshot of the whole deal is this:
I love this:

I'm a little worried about the tone, but I'm willing to try this:

But most importantly, when you see this:

Never forget that all the Warner Bros./Cartoon Network people see is this:

Transmitted 12:21 PM PST | Link |

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
It's No Penguin Baseball...
Still, I'm sure you can waste several minutes by visiting the Subservient Chicken.
Fly, Riverdance, die ... he does it all. Brilliant bit of adver-tainment.
Transmitted 02:51 AM PST | Link |

Monday, August 9, 2004
A Website That Might Make You Feel Better
I laughed out loud when I read the most recent entry on the Break Up News weblog:

Gerry Spratt, 28, got dumped, again, this time by Jill Franz, 23, who told him that she wants to "do her own thing." It turns out that the thing was a University of California at Santa Barbara volleyball player.
It's a fun site, turning the whole language of sickly-sweet engagement announcements on its ear. Check it out!
Transmitted 02:36 PM PST | Link |

Tuesday, August 3, 2004
Important Election Year Reading
You should probably add The Daily Howler to your "check everyday" list of webpages. The folks there are doing a pretty good job of pointing out how your mainstream media types are doing handling the important issues facing the country this election year.
I think the outlook is grim. Not for Kerry, or Bush, but for the media.
Dr. Mom and I were talking this morning about how people who watched the Democratic Convention on C-SPAN saw a totally different event than those who watched on FOX/CNN/MSNBC. (Network coverage, which amounted to, what, a total of three hours, was even worse.) As many people have suggested, a visit to the C-SPAN archives will let you watch the event in a true "no-spin" zone.
So go, watch, and make up your own mind!
Transmitted 11:41 AM PST | Link |

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