Dictum Ridiculum - August 2002

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Dictum Ridiculum: August 2002

Archived rants and raves from the main page of the Colin Campbell Network.

Monday, August 26, 2002
Good News for Mice Who Drink Mountain Dew
Maybe you saw the story Caffeine Lowers Cancer Risk in Mice, and immediately used it to justify your own caffeine habit. I know I did.
Which reminds me: Have you tried Amp, the "energy beverage" (think Red Bull) from the makers of Mountain Dew? It's a lot like regular Mountain Dew, without all that pesky water getting in the way. I highly recommend it.
Transmitted 05:41 PM PST | Link |

Thursday, August 22, 2002
Can You Find The Twelve Things Wrong With This Story?
From Associated Press:
"People magazine reports that (Michael) Jackson has a 6-month-old boy, whom he calls Prince Michael II. He reportedly introduced the baby to his magician friends Siegfried and Roy backstage at their Las Vegas show on July 30."
How'd you like to have been at that meeting? No word yet on where or how Jackson obtained the child, nor on how he plans to use it. And no comment from Jackson's oldest offspring, Prince Michael I. And, strangely, no comment from Prince.
Transmitted 03:57 PM PST | Link |

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Oh, and While I Was At It ...
... I went ahead and updated the Monkey-Plex with reviews of Austin Powers in Goldmember, Men In Black II, and Minority Report. Happy reading!
Transmitted 03:42 PM PST | Link |

A Victory for "Good" Reality Shows
Well, I know what you're thinking: The only "good" reality show is a cancelled reality show. But I've come to terms with the new "reality" of television. And I'm convinced now, more than ever, that the best thing I can do as a television consumer (and producer!) is to make sure I support the shows that are, in fact good; that challenge their audience; that are well thought-out and well executed.
Speaking of executed … that brings us to The Mole.
I love The Mole.
I love the cheesy techno spy music.
I love Anderson Cooper (but not that way, not that there’s anything wrong with that).
I love the fact that you can’t get voted out of the game by an alliance of morons.
I love the idea that if you’re smart enough, you can win.
And that’s what it comes down to, really: The Mole doesn’t insult my intelligence. Fear Factor does. Dog Eat Dog does. Meet My Folks does. These are games for idiots, played by idiots. The Mole is not.
That’s why I was super-happy (yes, super-happy) to find out that ABC has given the go-ahead to more Mole. This show was left for dead last fall, yanked from the schedule after stumbling out of the gate on its primo Friday night timeslot. (Here’s a hint: If your favorite show is scheduled for Friday night, don’t get too attached to it. It’s the TV graveyard.)
But The Mole made a big summer comeback, holding its own against American Idol on FOX. (And, thankfully, airing its finale just before American Idol started to pick up super-steam. That’s right, super-steam.)
Of course, for everything in TV there is a price, and the price of a new version of The Mole next summer is that we first must sit through a celebrity version, supposedly airing in January or March. Are there any good shows with “Celebrity” in the title? Even Celebrity Jeopardy has been pretty thoroughly deconstructed, thanks to Saturday Night Live.
In case you’re wondering what I consider “good” reality shows, the list so far includes The Mole, The Amazing Race, and Survivor. (Although having seen the heavily Southern cast of Survivor: Texas … I mean, Survivor: Thailand, I’m a little concerned. One Texan is “flavor.” Six Texans are a fight waiting to happen. We’ll see how it plays out.) Big Brother is what I consider a “guilty pleasure.”
Notice, too, that you can win at The Amazing Race by being smart. I don’t think smarts are going to help you too much on Fear Factor, otherwise, you wouldn’t end up on Fear Factor.
As for American Idol, I have to say two things:
1) You could walk in to any karaoke bar in Los Angeles on any night and find six more talented people than the four finalists and the two hosts.
2) I voted for Kelly Clarkson last night. Sue me.
Transmitted 03:13 PM PST | Link |

Friday, August 16, 2002
Department of Redundancy Department
Pope Arrives in His Native Homeland reads the headline on Yahoo! News, and I’m thinking that’s a good thing, because if he arrives in his non-native homeland, someone’s going to have some ‘splaining to do to His Holiness.
Meanwhile, count on The Onion to offer this gem about JPII.
==========
Pope Wins Host-Eating Contest
CONEY ISLAND, NY—Pope John Paul II won Monday's 14th Annual Coney Island Host-Eating Contest, as the Vicar of Christ ate 392 sanctified wafers in 12 minutes, edging out his nearest competition, Japanese trencherman Takeru Kobayashi. "His Holiness put on an incredible display of eating, devouring the equivalent of seven and a half full bodies of Christ," said contest organizer and head judge Bishop Thomas Daily. "In the last few seconds, bits of chewed-up wafer started coming out of his nose, but we allowed it because none hit the ground." Said third-place finisher Eric "Badlands" Booker: "Hey, that's why he's pope."
==========
Classic. Thanks to my pal Rube for passing that one along.
Transmitted 10:53 PM PST | Link |

Sunday, August 11, 2002
It's a Good Idea ...
And it's one I've been encouraging for a very long time. So click and discover how you can help Kill The Bug.
Transmitted 11:19 PM PST | Link |

Thursday, August 8, 2002
So You Wanna Write?
Lots of people want to. Many people actually make a living writing. I'm lucky enough to be one of them. And if you want to make a living writing, I suggest you check out the works of Mervin Block.
Even if you're not interested in writing TV news (which is Block's focus), the man is full of tips to make your writing clearer, more direct, simpler, and better.
His books are available through Amazon.com or his website. Check 'em out!
Transmitted 11:16 PM PST | Link |

Wednesday, August 7, 2002
More Things To Consider
Much like I feel about Michael Moore, I don't agree with everything Ted Rall has to say.
But I do agree with a lot of it. Maybe you will too, after checking out Ted's latest column asking some very obvious questions about the September 11th attacks. (Note: The questions raised by Ted are tougher than, "Which side of my car should I fly my American flag on?" which seems to be about the level of questioning most Americans are comfortable with.)
Transmitted 10:34 AM PST | Link |

Tuesday, August 6, 2002
Mom Would Be So Proud!
And, in fact, it's a proud day all around here at the Colin Campbell Network. See, I've just discovered that if you go to Google and type in the phrase "skanky Arkansas ho" -- a column I wrote is the number one search result.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Oh, don't worry, you can go off and try it now. Just make sure you come back. I feel another bout of daily productivity coming on.
Transmitted 11:52 PM PST | Link |

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