Dictum Ridiculum - March 2004

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Dictum Ridiculum: March 2004

Archived rants and raves from the main page of the Colin Campbell Network.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Yep, It Was That Fun... And Then Some
The AP has provided a pretty good write up of the Prince show I attended tonight at Staples Center. It's all true, although the writer fails to mention that several times, the show was stopped by sustained ovations for Prince.
The energy in the building was incredible -- very powerful, very funky, and very fun. People sometimes forget that Prince has a sense of humor, and it was definitely on display tonight. A great show, probably coming to a town near you. So check it out!!
Transmitted 01:44 AM PST | Link |

Monday, March 29, 2004
Time for Another Round ...
Yes, it's time for another round of a game we like to call: "Headline ... Sub-headline."
Some stories have headlines so ridiculous, they just call out for additional commentary, such as this beauty currently up on the Yahoo! News page:
HEADLINE: No Clear Remedy As Parents Decry TV
SUB-HEADLINE: Function of Mysterious "Off" Button Still Unknown
And that's how we play "Headline ... Sub-headline!"

Transmitted 05:07 PM PST | Link |

Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Up is Down, Left is Right, Black is White
Just another fun day watching the Bush Administration desperately try to revise its rationale for war in Iraq. Anyone who likes seeing the Secretary of Defense caught in a flat-out lie will certainly enjoy this clip from Rummy's appearance on Face the Nation.
Have you no sense of shame, sir?
And if you're willing to go on national TV and lie directly to the American people, why should you keep your job?
Transmitted 04:53 PM PST | Link |

Special Guest Entry from Tim Minear
So, Tim Minear, co-executive producer of TV's Wonderfalls, sent out an e-mail to fans that I'm re-posting here, in hopes it'll reach a few of you who aren't really in to the whole Wonderfalls thing. We CAN'T let this become the next Firefly, doomed to die before its time as a TV series is over. We just can't. So help out. And look how cool the executive producer is?
What follows is Tim's e-mail (and no, I don't have his e-mail address).
=======

Hi. My name is Tim Minear and I write television. Usually. Right now I guess I’m writing SPAM. But I’m not asking you to donate to some shady or even worthy cause. I’m not offering to enlarge any of your body parts (though I haven’t ruled it out), and I make no claims of miraculous cures for exotic diseases. What I can offer you is sixty minutes (really about forty five, minus commercials) of quality entertainment if you do one thing: turn on your TV to Fox this Friday night at nine.
For the last year or so I’ve been working with a bunch of really talented people to make a new show for Fox called Wonderfalls. We’ve made 13 episodes so far, and I really want you to see them.
Some of the folks at the network are telling me that Wonderfalls is the best reviewed new series they’ve had in ages -- maybe ever. I’m currently sitting on a stack of raves from all over the country, from major magazines, newspapers, small dailies, internet sites, etc. They seem to be doing me no good. Also, uncomfortable because of the sitting.
The big brains at the network, while happy with the reviews, tell me that good reviews don’t bring in an audience. Guess they were right. We premiered on Friday, March 12th to less than great numbers.
There are several things stacking the odds against us. Our time slot, charmingly known as “The Fox Friday Death Slot” is quickly living up to its name. There has been much confusion and differing opinion over just how to promote this odd little series. Maybe the unique charm, heart and volcanic snark aren’t coming through. I dunno. Fact is, I have no power over network promotion, I can’t force Fox to air Wonderfalls on Monday nights, I don’t have a Nielsen box or know anyone who does.
But I do have this keyboard, my cable-modem and a relationship with genre fans all over the world because of the internet. All of the shows I’ve worked on in the last several years have had loyal internet followings. From Lois and Clark to The X-Files, from Angel to the short-lived but much-loved Firefly. Ever since I’ve been associated with genre television I’ve had the extreme honor and pleasure (and sometimes hair-pulling madness) of interacting with fans of these shows via the Internet. You are the most dedicated, passionate and, frankly, smartest fans around.
And I’m turning to you now because I believe you’re a huge untapped resource.
I know that every one of you is connected to many others that I can’t reach. If you can give a hand here, you might be keeping us afloat long enough for us to catch the tide. Worth a shot, anyway.
I know the network wants this show to work. They’re willing for it to work. And if there’s any way that my plea now will help Friday’s numbers tick up just a touch, I think that would be a tremendous sign to them.
The next new episode of Wonderfalls airs Friday, March 19th at 9:00pm on Fox. Please tune in and mention it to someone else. Preferably someone with a Nielsen box.
So anyway, I thought I’d mention it. Oh, also, the network is going to repeat our pilot on Thursday, March 18th at 9:00pm after Tru Calling. So if you missed it last Friday, here’s your chance to catch it.
Thanks --
Sincerely,
Tim Minear
PS - I know the conventional wisdom says that good reviews don’t mean anything to potential viewers, but here’s a taste of them anyway:
TV GUIDE (3/13-19), Matt Roush
“Ironic and romantic, WONDERFALLS is a true original. Surrender to its charms.”
PEOPLE (3/22), Terry Kelleher
“The reason to watch WONDERFALLS is Dhavernas. With a star like this, a series doesn’t really need a gimmick.”
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (3/19), Ken Tucker
"A-" “...a revelation - a blessing, even.... Each of the four episodes I’ve seen is better than the one preceding it.”
USA TODAY (3/12), Robert Bianco
"WONDERFALLS is such an unexpected treat”
LOS ANGELES TIMES (3/12), Robert Lloyd
“WONDERFALLS is so well done, so fresh and unpredictable, and so little in thrall to conventional virtues as to make the weary reviewer prostrate with joy... everything clicks here”
NEW YORK TIMES (3/12), Virginia Hefferman
“Beautifully shot and written with wit... Dhavernas is delightful.”
NEWSDAY (3/12), Noel Holston
“the best pilot of the 2003-2004 season... Dhavernas is a find, a marvelously understated comic actress and her supporting cast is impeccable”
CHICAGO TRIBUNE (3/12), Steve Johnson
“the series looks and feels like nothing else on television... it all remains, almost magically, in balance, a delicate, roadside-attraction wonderland where mysteries of the cosmos, lowbrow popular culture, family dysfunction, longing and, mostly humor can coexist.”
SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE (3/12), Tim Goodman
“unquestionably the best new drama series of the 2003-04 season... this is your time to love TV”
WASHINGTON POST (3/12), Tom Shales
“WONDERFALLS is wonderful... a prime example of risk-taking originality, a brassy blast of fresh air any way you look at it.”
BOSTON HERALD (3/12), Amy Amatangelo
“Executive producers Todd Holland, Tim Minear and Bryan Fuller have created a show unlike any other on television.”
THE GLOBE AND MAIL (3/12), John Doyle
”WONDERFALLS is the best new drama in ages... Caroline Dhavernas is impeccable”
US WEEKLY – John Griffiths
“The writing is deliriously clever, the plots strangely Zen and uplifting, and Dhavernas is beyond winning as the loser-stamped Jaye. A fun, wild free fall."
POPGURLS - Allyson A Popgurl
"...get together with some friends, order in some Chinese, watch WONDERFALLS at 9pm on FOX this Friday, and then go out to your favorite dive bar and snark with each other. Make it a regular Friday thing. You'll be happier for it."

Transmitted 01:12 AM PST | Link |

Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Wonder-ing What All The Fuss Is About?
This review from Aaron Barnhart's fantastic TV Barn website doesn't mention it, but you will get another chance to get in on the ground floor of FOX's most support-worthy new show in ages, Wonderfalls.
This Thursday at 9:00pm, instead of watching CSI: for the one millionth time, please check out the repeat of the Wonderfalls pilot! (Then, of course, there's an all-new episode airing in the Friday certain death time slot.)
For those of you who already watched the pilot, on the FOX website, there's a director's commentary track you can listen to while the show is re-airing. (You can listen to it now, if you want, and just imagine the show in your mind ... but the point, I guess, is to hit "start" as the episode stars airing.) This, of course, assumes you have a computer near where you watch TV. Also, the commentary is 43 minutes; the non-TiVo'd among you are going to have to pause and adjust as necessary.
Seriously, this show needs some support. If you're looking for a good version of Joan of Arcadia, this could be the show you want.
Transmitted 12:54 PM PST | Link |

Monday, March 15, 2004
Isn't This Why They Have the FOX "News" Channel?
Your government dollars at work!
Apparently, the Bush folks are so excited about new changes in the Medicare law that they've gone and produced a series of TV News packages about it! As this story in the New York Times tells us, these pre-fabricated (emphasis on "fabricated") segments come complete with a "reporter" named "Karen Ryan," who purports to give us all the "facts" about the "improvements" to Medicare. They've been distributed to states all across the country, and apparently, have aired (in lieu, one would suppose, of real news) on stations in Oklahoma, Louisiana, and other states.
Wow. I mean, gee, what's next? More "pre-reported facts" from the Bush White House? Why not? I mean, it's obvious, truth isn't high on this guy's agenda.
John Kerry says the Bush crew is filled with crooks and liars. Crooks -- maybe. Liars -- definitely. It's just wrong.
I enjoyed a visit today to a new website, http://gadflyer.com/, which promises to take the fight to the forces of conservatism sweeping across this land.
I'd feel better about their chances if I didn't know that one of their contributors has a huge stain in his political past. One of their writers is a guy called James Devitt. Sure, he may be some big-shot progressive P.R. guy with a doctorate in communications from the University of Pennsylvania, but if he's so smart, how come he couldn't come up with a winning strategy as my campaign manager, for the San Luis Obispo Senior High School presidency in 1984? (We made it to the finals, but lost in a run-off to the arch-conservative Dave Petroni.)
Ah, no hard feelings, James. Best of luck on the new web venture. It's sorely needed.

Transmitted 01:19 PM PST | Link |

Thursday, March 11, 2004
What Are You Doing Friday Night?
I'll be watching, or at least TiVo-ing then watching, FOX's new Friday night drama, Wonderfalls.
This brings to mind a crucial issue. As regular readers of this site well know, I have a rule about watching shows that air on Friday nights. And the rule is, don't get too attached, because the show is going to be canceled. Especially if it's good. Double-especially if it's on FOX.
But I'm willing to break that rule for this show, for a number of reasons -- not the least of which is, the premiere episode features music by a very good friend of mine, the lovely and talented and shamefully underexposed to a national audience, Miss Robynn Ragland. So, yay for Robynn! Wake up, Hollywood, and hire this girl to write the theme song for your next show before she becomes way too successful and pricey!
The second reason is, it's got people in the driver's seat that I like. Tim Minear was a big-wig writer over in the Joss Whedon universe -- working on shows such as Angel, and, of course, Firefly (which seems to be the topic of every other post here these days; sorry about that).
Bryan Fuller is a recovering Star Trek writer, whom I believe was responsible for the best "quirky" parts of Showtime's Dead Like Me, before he was replaced with someone who brought in much more of a Touched by a Dead Teenager feeling to the material. (Actually, they brought in the creator of Touched by an Angel ... and I felt the show really started to lose its edge at about that same time.) So, from what I've read and seen, Wonderfalls really gets back toward capturing that cool quirky-ness that I enjoy from my hour-long dramas.
The Village Voice liked it too.
If all that doesn't convince you, here are several good reasons to watch Wonderfalls, courtesy of Allyson at Popgurls.com.
By most accounts, Wonderfalls is a critically-acclaimed show with a chance to be a real hit. I'm setting the "over/under" line for cancellation at five weeks... and I'm betting the "over." Don't blow it for me, FOX...
Note: If FOX yanks the show for any reason before five weeks -- "creative retooling," "saving for a summer re-launch," "makes our other shows look like pedantic hack crap," the "under" bet wins, no matter the lame, covering-your-ass reason given by some FOX lackey.
Transmitted 05:08 PM PST | Link |

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
News That Is Of No Surprise; News That Is Of Great Surprise
No surprise: Comic book author and novelist Neil Gaiman is a fantastic writer. And his weblog is a great read.
Great surprise: Stalinist monster crabs are in danger of taking over Norway, and, as Neil writes...
they are SPREADING! MOVING SOUTH! Possibly even going to GIBRALTAR FOR SOME UNGODLY CRABBISH REASON!
Do yourself a favor, and read the whole journal entry. Oh, and you'll probably even want to follow the link to the story Neil's writing about. Both are hysterical, although each in a different definition of the word.
Transmitted 06:07 PM PST | Link |

Why Should You Be A Spy?
Because TV's Jennifer Garner says so!
Well, that's probably too harsh. I like TV's Jennifer Garner, probably more than most people do. She's always struck me (in her interviews and stuff) as someone who's more "real" than most Hollywood types, someone with whom it would be a lot of fun to hang out. But there's just something about this recruiting video ... a certain blurring between fiction and reality ... that I find more than a little disturbing.
Ah, what the hell. She's still invited to my fantasy poker table.
Transmitted 03:26 PM PST | Link |

Tuesday, March 2, 2004
Here's the Very Best News From Super Tuesday
From Variety:
(Variety) Universal Pictures has greenlit "Serenity,'' the feature film based on Joss Whedon's Fox TV series "Firefly,'' which was canceled in late 2002 after just 11 episodes.
Deals are in place for Whedon to direct and for the original cast of the TV show to reprise their roles. Pic, budgeted in the mid-eight figures, is skedded for a June start and should be ready for a 2005 release.
After Fox pulled the plug on "Firefly," Whedon struggled to continue the project, speaking with other nets and cablers about the skein, then finally turning to studios about a feature version. U acquired the feature rights from Fox last fall.
Whedon said the pic will be released under the title "Serenity" to give it some distance from the TV version. "It was important that people understand that the movie isn't the series," he said. "The movie is bigger, more epic than anything you can do in a series."
To that end, he said he went out of his way while penning the "Serenity" script to make sure that it is accessible to auds who never tuned into "Firefly."
"You're not going to bring people into a movie if you're explaining all the time what happened before," Whedon said.
Series was a space oater set 500 years in the future, tracking the journeys of the crew aboard the Serenity.
Forthcoming pic is set about six months after the TV show left off, and centers on two passengers on board the ship who attract trouble to the crew.
The studio has closed a deal with Nathan Fillion to return as Capt. Malcolm Reynolds. Other original cast members Gina Torres, Morena Baccarin, Jewel Staite, Adam Baldwin, Sean Maher and Summer Glau are also in place.
Barry Mendel is producing the pic. Chris Buchanan of Mutant Enemy, Whedon's shingle, and Mendel exec Alissa Tager are exec producing. Overseeing the project for U is vice chair Mary Parent.
Transmitted 11:50 PM PST | Link |

Dear God In Heaven Above, I Watched Some of Average Joe Hawaii
So, I wrote an e-mail to my pal Molly tonight, and after reading back through it, decided to swipe a large part of it and post it here; hope you all enjoy it!
---
I'm sorry you were working tonight; you really missed out on the finale of Average Joe 2 - Average Joe Hawaii. See, I've watched a grand total of 19 minutes of the show, but already, I figured out that Larissa (the show's "star") had picked someone who would never love her. Never! Of course, he was one of the "interloping studs" who was brought in to torpedo the chances of one of the Average Joes. Sure enough, the choice was down to Interloping Stud and one of the original Average Joes. So, I guess they really should change the name of the show to Average Joe -- Who Doesn't Really Have A Chance In Hell After We Bring In Some Self-Centered Egotistical Pretty Boy. But maybe that doesn't fit in TV Guide.
Anyhow ...
Love-Incapable Interloping Stud wins the whole thing, and flies off with Larissa to Mexico, where, I don't know, I guess they're going to consummate their TV relationship in that most TV of ways -- with .... ONE MORE TWIST!!!
See, Larissa used to be involved with another guy...
OH MY GOD!!! COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!!
(Okay, they didn't really edit it that way, but they should have. Do I ever stop producing?)
So, on the beach of Mexico, where they've flown from Hawaii, Larissa reveals her HORRIBLE SECRET! Is it an STD? Was she previously married? Does she have an out-of-wedlock bastard child with NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Junior?
Nope.
She has an ex-boyfriend ... named FABIO!!!!!!!!! YES, THE FABIO!!!!!!!!!!! The prettiest of all-time pretty boys, FABIO!!!!!! Mr. "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter," Mr. "My Face Killed A Seagull on a Rollercoaster" .... FABIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Love-Incapable Interloping Stud does what any self-respecting man would have done, oh, about ten episodes ago. He bolts. Says "he can't deal with it."
And LARISSA is REJECTED!!!!!! The whole show is HER -- rejecting guys -- and SHE GETS REJECTED BECAUSE SHE USED TO DATE FABIO!!!
In a related story, the collapse of civilization is set for NBC Monday in two weeks ... when from the first Average Joe -- ADAM RETURNS!
Transmitted 12:12 AM PST | Link |

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