Dictum Ridiculum - February 2002

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Dictum Ridiculum: February 2002

Archived rants and raves from the main page of the Colin Campbell Network.

Saturday, February 23, 2002
Really Sad News ... With A Silver Lining
Do you ever flip on the news, or fire up a news web page, and see something that makes you go, "Oh, no ..."
Such a thing happened tonight, where after a perfectly wonderful evening watching the U.S. beat Russia in Olympic hockey, I came home to discover that animation legend Chuck Jones has died.
I didn't know Chuck Jones personally, but like, oh, about a billion other people, I knew and loved his work. Maybe you've laughed, out loud, at his Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck cartoons? Maybe you've seen his creation, Michigan J. Frog, now the corporate mascot for The WB? Maybe you remember the Coyote and Road Runner ... both of which were his creations? Perhaps you've seen the animated adaption he did of a story called "How the Grinch Stole Christmas?"
What a gifted man. And although I'm super sad he won't be creating anything new now, I can't help but think of how lucky we all are to have those gifts still to enjoy, even though their creator has passed on.
Thanks, Chuck. Thanks so very much.

Transmitted 12:30 AM PST | Link |

Thursday, February 21, 2002
A Musical Tribute
Michael Palin of Monty Python is responsible for this stirring musical tribute to Finland.
For those of you with neither the time nor the tolerance for downloading MP3's, I present the lyrics here for your enjoyment.
Finland

Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I want to be,
Pony trekking or camping,
Or just Watching TV,
Finland, Finland, Finland.
It's the country for me.

You're so near to Russia.
So far from Japan,
Quite a long way from Cairo,
Lots of miles from Vietnam.

Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I want to be,
Eating breakfast or dinner,
Or snack lunch in the Hall,
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

You're so sadly neglected,
And often ignored.
A poor second to Belgium,
When going abroad.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall,
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

Repeat : Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I quite want to be,
Your treetops so tall,
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.
Finland has it all ...

=========
We still love you, Finland!!!

Transmitted 12:10 AM PST | Link |

Wednesday, February 20, 2002
Gretzky's Thugs Mug Finland's Finest
HOCKEY: Canadians Exemplify All That Is Wrong With Hockey In "Defeat" of Finland
I never thought it would come to this. Wayne Gretzky crying. Wayne Gretzky whining. And worst of all, it worked.
Apparently intimidated by Gretzky’s constant beefing, referee Dennis Larue declared open season on Finland’s finest, calling but one minor penalty on Canada. Emboldened by Larue’s whistle-ditching antics, Canadians such as Al Macinnis, Adam Foote, and Chris Pronger decided it was better to clutch, grab, and slug their way to the next round, rather than trying to match the flying Finns puckhandling prowess. The result? A 2-1 Canadian victory, sending Team Canada to the next round of the tournament, and Finland back to the Olympic village for a well-deserved meal of carp.
“Canadians will say they are proud of their team, but this should be a day of shame north of the border,” said Colin Campbell, an ardent and vocal supporter of Finnish hockey. “What I saw on the ice tonight was not the finesse game the larger International ice surface (200’x100’, as opposed to the 200’x85’ NHL rinks) was supposed to promote. Instead, I saw an ugly game, a game marred by thuggery and Canada’s desperation. For shame, Canada, for shame.”
Campbell’s tirade continued. “To see hockey’s greatest player and repeat winner of the trophy handed out for “Gentlemanly Play” encourage his shock troops to beat up Finland’s team, well, I never thought I’d say this, but Gretzky? You suck!”
FINLAND’S THREE STARS:
1) Jani Hurme – World class goaltending, with one tiny slip up (the early Sakic goal).
2) Niklas Hagman – No relation to Larry Hagman, but he did open up a Dallas-sized can of whup ass on Canada. Hard work, justly rewarded with a goal.
3) Mikko Eloranta – Just because.
Canada will next face upstart Belarus, who, it is hoped, will pull off another miracle, and send these thuggish crybabies back to Manitoba, or wherever it is they came from.
Transmitted 11:18 PM PST | Link |

Tuesday, February 19, 2002
Flipping Triples
Okay, so the short program went basically according to plan. All the girls got out there and flipped their triples, and now we can go on to see who cracks after 48 hours of hype on Thursday night.
Meanwhile, wake the kids, set the VCR (or fire up the TiVo) and get ready to watch a small nation make a much larger one cry.
You heard it here first. Finland 4, Canada 3, and more tears from Wayne "Why Does Everybody Hate Canada?" Gretzky. That's my prediction, and I'm sticking to it.
And one other note -- First, Jamie Sale', now tonight I see this Jennifer Robinson (whose nickname, according to her official site, is "Tiger" -- yow!) ... What are they feeding these Canadian figure skaters, so that they turn out so adorable?
Transmitted 11:33 PM PST | Link |

Monday, February 18, 2002
Unleash Juha Lind!
That's right. You thought Finnish hockey was a joke. Or, at the very least, a Jokinen (that would be Olli Jokinen, Finland's baby-faced center). But ask Russia who's laughing now? Hey, Ivan? How did that 3-1 spanking feel?
I think we've learned several things.
1) Never underestimate the motivating power of carp. Remember, Team Finland isn't playing for the gold, the silver, or the bronze. They're playing, basically, for fish. That's all they're interested in. Just some smoked fish.
2) Never underestimate Mikko Eloranta. Many have. Few make the same mistake twice. He scored the winning goal today against Russia, and could have had about four assists. Dude is playing out of his Finnish mind.
3) Hmm, it seems to me there's only one team that has won an Olympic medal in each of the last two Olympics. I wonder ... could it be ... was it ...FINLAND??? The two-time defending bronze medalists are nicely coming together as a TEAM, which is what hockey is: a TEAM sport, not a bunch of spoiled cry-baby superstars (cough, cough, Canada).
I understand Wayne Gretzky is considering adding Jamie Sale' to the Canadian defensive corps, seeing as she knows how to bounce back following a hit.
Go Finns!!!!
Transmitted 04:52 PM PST | Link |

Friday, February 15, 2002
Our Long National Nightmare Is Over
And I can finally get some sleep. David and Jamie got their gold medals. No longer will I spend sleepless nights, tossing and turning, cursing the injustice visited upon these adorable skaters by some -- ugh -- Frenchwoman (who, it should be pointed out, looks like she stepped out of the pages of a Madeline book).
Now, it's up to Team Finland to keep this day of Olympic justice going strong ... by trouncing the distinctly anti-Olympian and thuggish USA hockey team. Go Finns!!!
Transmitted 04:19 PM PST | Link |

Thursday, February 14, 2002
It Gets Worse ...
Okay, so as if it's not bad enough that Venezuela's Iginia Boccalandro wiped out spectacularly, ending the 40-year-old woman's Olympic luge dreams, but now, I read this:
"As track personnel rushed to assist, her sled turned around and was headed back toward her. Just before the 50-pound sled reached Boccalandro, volunteer Drake Self tried to grab it. The sled flipped over and sliced off the tip of his index finger just below the fingernail."
--Associated Press report
Was this woman cursed from the start or what?
Transmitted 12:22 PM PST | Link |

Embrace Finland!
Well, I've got my favorite team picked out for the upcoming Olympic Hockey Tournament. And if you're looking for a good reason to join me in rooting for Finland, I think this article I came across during my research, Pirkka the Finnish taxi driver is a popular TV character in Norway, should be all the information you need to join me in rooting for Teemu Selanne, Mikko Eloranta and Team Finland.
Go Finns!
Transmitted 02:01 AM PST | Link |

Wednesday, February 13, 2002
The Olympic Spirit
"Venezuela's 40-year-old Iginia Boccalandro, one of the weaker lugers, had a spectacular crash in the opening run, hitting the side of the run and losing a grip on her sled. After sliding down the track on her stomach she took a few minutes to recover before she was able to get up and leave the track."
-- Reuters Report
But she was okay. She left under her own power. She had plenty of time to rest and regroup before what certainly would be a triumphant second run. Yes, her quest for a medal was dashed against the cold, cruel ice of the luge track, but this plucky Venezuelan luger would not let down the people of a country that supported her cold-weather sport dreams. She could feel all of Venezuela flinch when she hit the wall; now, all of Venezuela would rejoice when she triumphantly reappeared to show that she, not the luge track, was worthy of the title "Olympian."
Oh, uh, wait a minute. According to NBC's announcers, she "perhaps somewhat sensibly announced her retirement from the sport ..." before her second run.
Never mind.
Transmitted 01:36 AM PST | Link |

Monday, February 11, 2002
Frightening Site of the Day
What's going on at Google? I guess this is part of the "Mandatory Internet Star Trek Related Content Act" of 1994. My question: If there are any Klingons looking for information on the Internet, why would they use Google? I mean, in most corners of the galaxy, including this one, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has supplanted Google, and even the vaunted Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge.
Transmitted 02:40 PM PST | Link |

Wednesday, February 6, 2002
Random Celebrity Sightings
Oh yeah, one more thing from NHL All-Star Weekend. My brother was kind enough to spend the day Friday with me, and we hit our local Bob's Big Boy for breakfast before heading off to hockey heaven. As we waited for a booth, strolling right in front of us carrying the Los Angeles Times and headed for a seat on the patio was Quentin Tarantino. This Bob's is a total throw-back to the 1950's (with a classic car gathering Friday nights, and carhop service on weekends), and cool Quentin seemed perfectly in place.
Somehow, seeing Harry Hamlin near a pizza stand later at Staples Center just wasn't as neat.
Transmitted 01:10 AM PST | Link |

Did You Ever Have That Nagging Multiverse Feeling?
Who among us hasn't wondered: Are There Other Universes? Thank goodness we've finally got scientists to nail down the answer with a resounding ... maybe. It's a fun debate. I tend to lean heavily toward the "of course there are" side, if only because it would be so fun. (That, plus a heavy dose of science fiction during my formative years probably tends to sway my opinion.)
Transmitted 12:17 AM PST | Link |

Tuesday, February 5, 2002
More All-Star Fun
So, here are some more snapshots from this year's NHL All-Star Game, and the All-Star Fantasy fun fest held in the convention center next door.
A Staples Center usher experiments with some unusual framing techniques in this shot of my brother and I after the Friday night Skills Competition.
Who's the man? Yours truly puts on an impressive display of puck shooting skill. Two out of the four targets hit, and with only seven pucks, not eight as the professionals have during their Skills Competition. (Beloved brother Morgan, it must be pointed out, hit ... um ...zero targets during his turn. Sorry, Mo! Gotta crow!)
Then again, it should be pointed out that my same beloved brother was on fire between the pipes during this goalie challenge. I'll give him the edge here, if only because he looks so damn cool.
And, of course, our family heritage was well represented. Here I am with the Clarence Campbell Bowl. No, I'm not related to Clarence, as far as I know, but he did get his name on a damn fine bowl. (It's a trophy awarded to one of the teams that plays for the Stanley Cup. To translate it in to "baseball," it's kind of the hockey equivalent of winning the pennant and getting to go to the World Series. It's nice and all, but it isn't the same as winning the whole thing. Boy, those guys in the background sure are interested in it, though, aren't they?)
So what was the overall highlight of the weekend? Second place would be seeing Mario Lemieux, probably the second greatest hockey player ever, score a goal in the actual All-Star game. It was a goal that tied him with the first greatest hockey player ever, Wayne Gretzky, for first place on the all-time list of most goals scored in All-Star games.
And the greatest highlight, the best memory? Sharing the entire weekend with my brother, who is, simply put, the best, most loving, most supportive, and most fun brother a guy could ever ask for. If it's not obvious, I love you a lot, Morgan. So thanks for being there with me ... for every step of my life.

Transmitted 01:32 AM PST | Link |

Monday, February 4, 2002
Happy Birthday To Me!
So, I'm tempted to wait another fifteen minutes, and post this entry at the exact moment of my birth ... but that would be ridiculous and retentive, two things I am not.
Plus, gotta go to another hockey game. (Kings v. Flyers. I'm told that, unlike the All-Star Game, there will be actual body checking tonight ...) So, when I get back, I'll try to post more of those All-Star Weekend photos. For now, thanks to everyone who sent such good wishes! I do love you all.
Transmitted 05:41 PM PST | Link |

Sunday, February 3, 2002
Clean Your Ice Surface?

Hey, it's my little brother Morgan, riding high on the Zamboni™ at the NHL All-Star Fantasy!

Well, so here's a preview of what's to come. It's late, it's been a long day, but suffice to say, NHL All-Star Weekend was an absolute blast! A more detailed report should follow, but for now, I'm off to dream of Mario and Jaromir and Sergei and Dominik ...
Transmitted 02:52 AM PST | Link |

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