CCN FAQ 0.91 (Beta)

This FAQ is related to Colin Campbell, and www.ColinCampbell.net, and was last updated on October 20, 2003.

1. Who is Colin Campbell?

I’m just a guy. I live in L.A. I’m a TV writer. I run and write everything for this webpage.

2. What is The Colin Campbell Network?

That’s a branding element, which was cross-format focused for maximum impact. Actually, ColinCampbell.com was already taken by a guy selling real estate in Ohio, so I thought the dot net would be cool. And since I work in TV, I liked the idea of running my own “network.” That also carried over in to the design, using some fonts that looked like TV Guide listings, and there you have it.

3. Why the hell should I care? How did I end up here?

It’s not that you shouldn’t care. As a matter of fact, I’m glad you’re taking the time to read this. You’re probably here because of a column or weblog entry I wrote. And if you’re a fan of Mandy Lauderdale (or if you are Mandy Lauderdale), you’re probably a user of Google, which has blessed me with a ton of hits related to the Queen of Temptation Island. As for the Google thing, I don’t know why it worked out that way, but I’m not complaining.

4. Is there a God? And if so, how will He/She reveal himself to me?

That question is outside the purview of this web site. However, for those interested, the answers are “Probably, but not what you think” and “Eventually.”

5. What are Intermittent Transmissions?

That’s what I called the columns I wrote whenever the spirit moved me. At the old site, the Punch Drunk Monkey-Thon (see below), the columns were a weekly feature. Wanting to relieve myself of immense amounts of guilt at not being able to crank out a weekly column (it’s hard!), I changed the name of the feature to reflect the more sporadic rate of new column appearances.

6. What is “The Punch Drunk Monkey-Thon?”

That’s where I started on the web. It was my first webpage, before I got my own domain name. It was named “Punch Drunk Monkey-Thon” only because that phrase came in to my head quite randomly one night, and it seemed like a title in search of a home. I gave it one.

7. So are you one of those guys with a “thing” for monkeys?

Not at all. But as the great comedy writer and teacher Fred Rubin is fond of saying, some words are just funny. “Monkey” is a funny word. It just is. I don’t know why. (For example, “chimp” is not as funny, but “orangutan” is.) So I used it. It also provided a nifty visual element, which is carried over to this day in our Monkey-Plex.

8. Why don’t you write for the webpage more often?

When it starts paying me, I will! Until then, it’s a hobby. Writing for money has to come first.

9. Didn't you used to be Mr. TV?

Mr. TV? You mean the ultra-hip, super smart weekly TV columnist for the old www.UltimateTV.com, now the much lamer www.Zap2It.com? Um ... yeah.

10. Will you read my script?

Nope.

11. You suck.

Sorry. Just not interested. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in a writing group, or getting your material out to other people. It just means that I’m not the guy to read it.

12. Why did you suspend Tie Domi for 8 games? He was only trying to protect himself!

Uh, you must have me confused with Colin Campbell, the NHL executive vice president and former coach of the New York Rangers. In his current job with the League, this other Colin Campbell is in charge of meting out suspensions for egregious hockey offenses, such as cold-cocking a guy upside the head with a stick. And, while on the subject of "other" Colin Campbells, let's not forget the guy who runs a real estate business in Dayton, Ohio. Yes, he's the one who has colincampbell.com, but that's okay, because I like .net better.

13. I'm using Netscape and your page looks like #$%@*. Why don't you code your pages better?

Why don't you upgrade your browser? Did you know that we're well in to the 21st century now? And that this page is trying, however gamely, to conform to the current W3C Recommendations? Check out http://www.webstandards.org/ if you need more info and on why it's important that you get with the times! And there's a great article at A List Apart that goes in to further detail. Check 'em out! Then head straight to Netscape's Product page and correct yourself!

14. You didn’t answer my question here!

Then drop me a line, and suggest an addition to this FAQ!

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